Divergence
by Andromakhe
Summary: My take on Qui-Gon's internal monologue leading up to and after the ill-fated duel with Maul. Just trying to reconcile the fact his last words to Obi-Wan were about Anakin.


Disclaimer: Star Wars isn't mine. No intellectual theft or monetary gain intended.

Spoilers: Ep I

Qui-Gon sat pensively staring off into space. The Queen and her captain had just finished telling him and Obi-Wan about the plan of attack to reclaim Naboo from the Trade Federation and he'd retreated below the deck to try to get his anxiety under control. Because that's what he felt - fear. The Zabrak who attacked him on Tatooine reveled in battle and was adept with the Dark Side, using it to his advantage and to heighten his pleasure. Qui-Gon knew there was a good chance he would not survive if they met again, and he was sure they would. He did not know if Obi-Wan could tell how close that duel had been. All he knew was that he had to keep the Zabrak occupied and away from him. Because the only thing worse than losing his own life was to watch helplessly as his promising Padawan perished before he could come into his own.

The only problem with that was that he couldn't hold out indefinitely. The Zabrak was not an enemy that would allow his quarry to run away. At any rate, the Zabrak could not be allowed to pursue the Queen. It would be a fight to the death, and proponent of the Living Force though he was, he did look ahead, no matter what Obi-Wan thought. He knew what was at stake and though he'd try to survive, ultimately the young lives in his care were more important than his own.

Qui-Gon knelt in meditation behind the last laser gate. The Sith paced impatiently beyond them. So far, Obi-Wan had briefly joined the fight, but Qui-Gon had been mostly successful in his own private mission. As he waited, welcoming the respite, his awareness of the moment vanished.

He saw Obi-Wan with a Padawan, dueling Dooku. Dooku was certainly capable of taking on more than one opponent, Qui-Gon knew, but such a situation in sparring was rather unusual. Not unlikely, though. But then he registered the color of Dooku's lightsaber and his heart skipped a beat.

He next saw Obi-Wan with the same person, now a Knight, locked in a space battle. He'd always known Obi-Wan was a skilled pilot, and they moved as though they'd flown together often and were quite used to working together. He was happy to know Obi-Wan would get a Padawan he was close to. He wanted Obi-Wan to know the happiness he himself had found training him.

He saw Obi-Wan's Padawan slay Dooku. He felt regret at this, just as he did when realizing Dooku had fallen. He had unconsciously expected Dooku to fall, perhaps from subtle hints over the years, but he'd still been his brother and apprentice once and it hurt to see him killed. The Chancellor was there for some reason, but he didn't pay much attention to that. He assumed since Dooku was a Sith, the Knight hadn't had much choice.

He saw Obi-Wan leading a great Army, only to be fired on and plummeting from the sky. No, no! Why would they do that to his compassionate boy?

And finally, he saw the Jedi Temple burning.

The Dark Side mustn't win. Anakin...He must be trained. Perhaps the Dark would not win then.

He got to his feet and resumed the fight with Maul, though there wasn't much further they could go. It was kill or be killed. His visions cemented his conviction, which gave him a burst of power.

And then, he was run through. At that moment, he decided that there was something worse than watching his Padawan die. It was hearing his heart break and knowing there was nothing he could do to comfort him. He knew now that Obi-Wan had to train Anakin. That's what his visions meant. The boy's future was said to be uncertain. But Obi-Wan was honorable, capable, and if anyone could teach Anakin what was good and right, it'd be Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon felt his strength slowly ebbing away. But he held on with everything he had. This last objective was of dire importance.

Finally, he felt Obi-Wan lift his head. His poor boy. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Qui-Gon was supposed to laugh and cry with Obi-Wan at his Knighting Ceremony, be so proud. All he felt now was a crushing regret, especially because even to the end, he had to be a Jedi and put duty first.

"Promise me you'll train the boy."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan choked out, finally beginning to see the truth that it was indeed too late.

Qui-Gon had never been good at saying goodbye. He hated it. He weakly caressed his apprentice's cheek, hoping that Obi-Wan would understand that his love and farewell were contained in that gesture. He just could not say it out loud. It was too final. Instead, he reminded Obi-Wan about the darkening of the Force, and when Obi-Wan affirmed his promise, Qui-Gon let go.


End file.
